think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
