my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
