You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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