My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
