even my farts smell like vagina
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
