Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
