Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
