East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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