Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
