OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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