What a fucking waste of an outfit
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
