I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize