Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
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I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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