it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
