you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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