I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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