so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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