well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
