tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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