I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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