They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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