North Korea, Best Korea!
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
