I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
