Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
i out mim tonsoeep
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
