I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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