we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
