the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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