I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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