ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize