i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
