this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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