you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
