i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
