Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize