with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
