In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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