After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
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