We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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