she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
