the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
