It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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