so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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