She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
No subtext here. People are naked.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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