Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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