I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
