I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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