Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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