Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
