Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
