he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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