i love accidental penises.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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