I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
the condom got lost in my hair
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
