and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
