lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
They have beer where we have blood.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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