dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize