are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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