let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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